Rejoice, The Hummer Is Dead
Whoa, relax there, Frat boy. Not that hummer, those are still alive and well, thank God. I am referring to the gas guzzling, horizon blocking SUV that should have never seen the light of day to begin with.
See, sales of this particular model — perhaps the most idiotic consumer vehicle ever produced in your lifetime — are down. Way down, a full 27 percent from last year alone, which was already way down 22 percent from the year prior, with sales continuing to plummet as fast as gas prices are rising and Bush’s war is raging and Americans are generally snapping awake to the fact that dumping well over 100 bucks to fill the tank of this monster abomination every other day might not be the best way to waste their kid’s college fund.
Hence, it’s heavily rumored that GM will soon kill the model entirely, which is already being supplanted by a slew of smaller, less disgusting H2 offspring like the H3 and the H3 pickup and the H3 whatever-the-hell-else-they-can-think-of to milk this horrible idea until it’s deader than Dick Cheney’s black soul at a pagan tree festival.
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Comments
This is a blog, the whole point is to voice my opinion, if that makes me, “retarded” in your eyes, feel free to never come back.
Also, I never said the Hummer was useless, it has many uses, particularly the military. HOWEVER, most consumer Hummers are driven by soccer moms and corporate executives that will never, EVER go though the 6 feet of mud you claim makes the Hummer necessary. The consumer model is useless.
Also, the consumer hummers are no where near as well built as the military version. Case in point:
http://www.projectsilence.com/comedy/breaking-news-hummers-continue-to-be-lame-updated/
*cough*small penis, use paragraphs*cough*
Wow, what a well thought out argument there Nathan, chalk full of facts and such terrific spelling, grammar, and use of punctuation.
*This is a test of the sarcasm network. In case of an actual sarcasm emergency, I’ll provide directions on what to do. Yes, I’m looking at you Nathan.
End of Sarcasm Alert*
Are you retarded? you cant bad-mouth the original Humvee JUST because it guzzles gas, many other suv’s have he same milage, the H2 shouldnt even be classified as a Hummer, the engine is the exacct same as a chevy tahoe. The Hummmer 1 has a freagin V12 engine, yea thats right, V12. Many freight liners are V12’s. No other SUV, Truck or car has that kind of power. The humvee beat out jeep in the 1987 Baja Race. thats why the military uses them, the Humvee is very versitile. It can have many makes and models, used for many different weapons systems. The Humvee can drive 60* slops and can get through 6 feet straight of mud. So before you go bad-mouthing the Humvee and saying it has bad gas as your only excuse, look at what you bad mouthing. The H2 has a Taho engine, with even worse gas mileage as he tahoe. Dont bag all over the Humvee with only THAT excuse.